ESCAPING THE NEGATIVITY IN LIFE
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I first heard this quote in the movie "The Princess Diaries". I know, I know. How cliché. But I love this movie and I love this quote and I believe it's worth mentioning as well as remembering when we live in a world that's constantly trying to drag us down and we just need a little reminder of our power in the situation.
There are times when someone makes you feel so annoyed and irritated that you think, "This person is my living nightmare!" or "How do I remove this person from my life?!" I know I have. Thing is, in some cases, you can easily move that person to the bottom of your list of priorities. However, there are times when you just can't remove them from your life. It's been said that most of the toxic relationships in one's life are those of family and friends. This doesn't mean you're supposed to start assessing every person in your life. It just means that you should be careful about who you trust because there are times when some people aren't happy to see you climb that ladder of success, and one should not be obligated to carry them along for the rest of their life.
I know people think that teenagers are hardly experienced in the diverse spheres of life to comment on such complex issues. That's where they're wrong. Adults may know how to handle bills and children and responsibilities, but we're the real observers of our surroundings, at least as someone who's not a kid anymore but not an adult yet either. Because this is the time when we're called cowards for not standing up to our fears and stupid when we do stand up to our fears. This is the time when we are faced with people or situations that are detrimental to our future. I know all of us have experienced a toxic relationship in our lives at least once, if not multiple times. Well, here's what I know about it.
Toxic people defy logic. It's as if their brain is unaware of what the rest of their body is doing. Unbelievable right? Some are usually unaware of their impact on their surroundings, while others continue to annoy and stress others out because they "enjoy" doing that. In my experience, I've noticed that such people do what they do because they feel like controlling others makes them feel more in control of themselves, because they're insecure, or they're just paying back what they once received (true believers of what goes around comes around, right?). On top of this, there are TYPES of toxic people! Half of me was quite serious upon reading that, but the other half just couldn't stop laughing. Here's a list of the basics:-
The Dementors, also known as the pessimists or the "glass half empty" viewers. Crafty right? These are the people who have the extraordinary ability to fill the brightest and the most normal situations with bouts of doubt, concern and fear.
The Gossipers. The name's quite self-explanatory. Gossipers are the ones who make themselves look interesting and popular by prying into others' lives and demeaning them. Heavily populated in high schools, don't you think?
The Manipulators. The classic case in high schools. They pretend to be your friend, gather all the deep secrets you have, and then advertise them or blackmail you using the information. It's quite hard to spot them, but once you do, realize who deserves your trust and who doesn't.
The Victims, or as I like to call them, the emotional basketcases. I've personally encountered countless people from this category and I'm still under 18! These are the ones who don't see an opportunity to learn and grow from tough times, but rather succumb to the pressure and then whine about it to someone else. "Whine" may seem too strong or harsh a word, but what can I say? I've been taught not to lie. The phrase "Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional" perfectly fits the people in this category, because they choose to suffer instead of working through their problems.
The Temperamental, or again, the emotional basketcases. These people have absolutely zero control over their emotions and what they say. I've been told that I'm an empath and I do feel others' guilt and sadness or whatever they're feeling. People like me can explode if we're in the company of temperamental people all the time. There's only so much pain one can take right? Such a company is to be avoided at all costs.
These are just a few of the basic categories and we must've faced people from at least 3 of them. Whatever the case may be, we usually can't change such people, not unless one has a galore of patience. So why not simply distance yourself from them? Why not decide to care for yourself instead of thinking of your obligations and responsibilities. I know it's easier said than done, but you must admit, it is possible.
I recently read a Forbes article about handling negativity and ways to overcome negative thought patterns. What I understood was we see the world not for how it is, but how we want it to be. And it all depends on our mindset and whether it's dominated by positive or negative thoughts. Having a positive mindset doesn't mean ignoring bad thoughts. It just means overcoming the negative.
You know, I've never really liked critics. Yes, it takes both sun and rain for a flower to grow. But sometimes, too much rain kills the flower. Why not be an encourager in this world full of critics? Why not be someone's light in the dark? Your brain isn't exactly like a light bulb that it'll suddenly realize the presence of negativity around it. Once you get accustomed to something, be it negative or positive, your brain can catch it in a second. So the next time you feel like you're in a company where you don't want to be or shouldn't be, find something else to do and go somewhere else. Put yourself above all else. You can truly escape negativity only when you recognize what situation you're in and what you need.
Don't stop being a good person because of bad people. Otherwise, you're just stooping down to their level. Be good to others and yourself. Don't be influenced by anyone. Instead, be an inspiration for them! Give them a goal to chase, a role model. You've got this!
"How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours." ~ Wayne Dyer